Dance like no one's watching...

Most of us have been stuck in transit waiting for connecting trains, planes or buses and spent that time looking around us, observing people as they walk by, picked up a magazine that we dont typically don’t read, paid more attention to whats around. If so, why do we find it hard to apply it back to life.

Its been a week of serious conversations for me, mostly talking to my friends ‘stuck in transit’ in real life, some poised to move on to the next phase, some struggling with issues with the current and looking to hit a fast forward button, some regret missing out on something, wishing they had done things differently…

One of my dearest friends was caught up feeling miserable about the whole process of finding someone and getting married...One wants to switch her jobs badly because she is not happy with it, one is wondering why he left a good job and took up an MBA to graduate at a point when everything looks so bleak.

Somehow we are constantly in pursuit of something… As kids in high school we want to get past the boards and into good colleges. Then it’s about jobs, higher degrees, better jobs, finding the right person and getting married, wanting a home, kids and then we get so buried in our work and kids that we wait for them to get somewhere before we can take a break and do something we have always wanted to do. The present remains mostly an investment for our future, grading ourselves based on our progress..We are unhappy if we are stuck somewhere in this natural progression... To give a sense of the conversation with my friend….

Me: Its not about you…Take it easy, don’t bring it down on urself..
She: No, it’s got to be about me that I am still here; I am investing so much time and energy.

Its in our psyche that we have to be somewhere, have some goals all the time. If not, we are somehow not successful..If we constantly latch onto the next journey the moment we get to a destination ....then, when do we actually sit down and enjoy the present? Can we actually free our minds from the thought of ‘what next’..?Can we actually get a blank mind and soak it in today…live today to the fullest…

And then I read these lines…

"Work like you don't need money,

Love like you've never been hurt,

And dance like no one's watching."
--- Satchel Paige

This whole thought is fascinating and infectious….Could we detach ourselves from our expectation and fear that we might fall short of it – getting rewarded, getting loved back, getting a word of praise, and leave judgments aside and throw ourselves completely into something?

Work like you don’t need money….I wish I could do that :)….I really don’t have a hobby that would pay me anything but satisfaction. And we need to pay the bills ….But surely, one thing I have been missing is taking time out for in the recent years is my hobbies. Someone recently asked me what my hobbies were, and I had difficulty in putting my finger on one thing that I had actively pursued in the last 5 years…It was embarrassing and awkward….. But I had hobbies which I loved. I used to love sketching and painting, I danced for 10 straight years, I had a major liking for interior design that I almost studied it. Now my hobbies have degenerated into watching sitcoms, listening to music, window shopping and watching more sitcoms….The only worthwhile thing I have taken up more seriously of late is cooking. I have started to slow down and enjoying cooking instead of taking it as a task that I need to perfect. I have stopped relying on my 20 min rush recipes. I have started to observe the spices I use and the flavors they have, and have started to experiment with understanding (or so I believe!!). I bought myself a keyboard (casio) a year back in the hope that it will be my sweet diversion, my new hobby. I have yet to find time to take it as a serious pursuit…..

Hobbies make our life more fulfilling. Its something we enjoy, we don’t have any targets or expectations. Its our creative vent out and we can give ourselves as many chances we need to perfect it out, and there is no fear of failure (I don’t like the look on B’s face as I say this and cook…but never mind him…); Its working like you don’t need the money…

Love like you have never been hurt….If a past of hurt shadows ur emotion, you are just pulling back in defense. There should be no reservations in love, no preconditions, no fear. Don’t lock yourself up, Go with an open heart. Will I get hurt again; Yes, I may …but atleast I will know that I gave it my all. And there shall be no regrets.

And then there’s my favorite line..Dance like no one’s watching..
Observing young children teaches you one thing. They have no fear …of falling, of getting embarrassed, of trying new things. I have always had a hundred thoughts zipping in my head when I held a microphone and looked up at a room full of people. And yes, it took me blurting out “Good Evening everybody” a couple of times during bright early mornings and flashing a foolish giddy smile when I realize this and my many other bloopers to finally get comfortable standing over there.

Its that constant sense of “will I be able to keep this conversation interesting”, “will someone laugh if i told them a joke now”, “will I meet my own expectations” “Am I nervous and will it show” and “OMG, did everyone notice that I blurted something wrong”…….and It takes me a while before I get comfortable chattering away without watching (Sometimes, that hasn’t worked out so well…:) but still..). I have also learnt over the years that being able to laugh at ourselves is a skill that makes us feel less intimidated by the situation….So let go of inhibitions, don’t always seek approval, Dance away to express yourselves, like no one’s watching …. If someone see’s you falling flat on ur face, just smile back and it wont matter as much….

Sometimes we just need to slow down…. Scenic drives aren’t freeways, they are these windy roads telling people to slow down and watch around. And when we are stuck at a transit point in life by something we cant control, we need to drop the sense of urgency to be somewhere and live the moment… Spend some time to enjoy the little somethings of ur life.